As-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullah
After a severe year-long illness and struggle, my mother passed away this week on 25th March 2014, aged just 56. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un. Allah yarhamha wa yaghfir laha. Please spare a moment of du’a for her and my family. Jazakumullahu khayran for all your support and prayers, especially those who went over and beyond to help over the last year of her illness.
Yesterday, we prayed over my dear mother and buried her. Subhan’Allah, I always wondered about this day, which will come for us all. My sister and I were talking this morning about how serene and peaceful we feel despite the chaos and cries of people around us. Perhaps it’s because we saw her struggle through her illness and took care of her throughout that time, or perhaps it’s because she looked so tranquil after her death, or perhaps we are at peace because she is finally at peace. But ultimately, we know it’s because Allah is truly Merciful. He literally removed the sharp grief and sorrow associated with the death of a beloved mum, and kindly replaced it with calm, composure and serenity in all of us.
I remember my friend talking of this when her own mother passed away, and I didn’t understand it back then because I couldn’t imagine losing my mother. But today I understand it very well. Allah saves a person when their world crumbles. He gives you strength at difficult times – the kind of strength that you just know is not from you but can only be from Him. And He allows your soul to soar when it is pushed over the cliff by the calamities of life.
Alhamdulillah, the funeral turnout was incredibly huge. The masjid had to open up another whole building to accommodate for the large number of attendees, and there wasn’t a single person who didn’t have something good to say about her. When news of her death went around, you could see how it affected the community both here and abroad. She used to do a lot of good deeds in secret, and it’s only now that it’s all coming out because people are coming forward to speak of it.
Two women couldn’t stop sobbing because she was the one who brought them into the community after they felt outcasted. A grown man was crying in town saying that she helped him set up his own business and get on his two feet. Numerous couples say they are indebted to her for her great ability to reconcile between quarreling couples and rebuild broken families. Countless people back home who are in poverty weep today because she always gave to them, and made sure they had something to eat and live on. I personally remember the day I found out she had been sponsoring at least two hafidh students of knowledge (for a few years) who were too poor to continue with their Shari’ah degrees – she had tried to keep it a secret but I pushed her until she told me and wow, was I surprised seeing as though she is always giving sadaqah masha’Allah. She didn’t just help people. She rebuilt lives and slowly changed communities.
She did so much for others, but what she did for us is beyond my ability to tell. She was the one who facilitated all my learning. After Allah, if it wasn’t for her I would never have learnt any Arabic or Qur’an or anything, let alone teach any of it. One day I decided to surprise her by calling her after I completed my hifdh of Qur’an. Wallahi, just as I stepped into class for my khatmah, I received a call on my phone. It was my mother calling to surprise *me* with a gift to go on ‘Umrah for my efforts with Qur’an. She had no idea that I was finishing my khatmah and that I was planning on calling her in just an hour. But that was my mum; always a step ahead in charity, gifts, and goodwill. You could give her a river and she would give you back the ocean.
I can never do justice to you dear mummy, because you will always be a million times better than anything I could ever say about you. You were my best friend and confidante, my key adviser and helper. You were our mother and so much more. You were loved by the people of this earth and I’m sure this is a sign of Allah’s Love for you. You now rest in peace and wallahi the light on your face after you passed was seen even by nurses. The eyes weep and the heart is saddened, but I couldn’t have asked for a better relationship with my dear mummy. Allah yarhamuki, love you always.
As a Wife and Mother:
As my siblings recall our mother’s many good points, one thing that stands out is what a good wife she was, masha’Allah. When people hear ‘good wife’ they might think ‘submissive, meek, easily-controlled’ etc., and this is such a fallacy and so far from the truth. On the contrary, my mother was strong, reliable, active, and was always there for everyone. Every sadaqah drive, she was there, every event that needed hands (weddings, funerals, fundraisers, mosque activities etc), she was always there. She had her own life and worked for her Akhirah, but this was never at the expense of her marital and home life.
She was a woman who controlled her tongue and only said goodly words. Her respect and love for my father was unmatched, and in turn, my father loved to listen to her, value her opinions, and treated her better than he would a queen. Their relationship was so beautiful that you couldn’t tell where or who the goodness started or ended with masha’Allah. I always marvelled at the statement of Imam Ahmad when his wife passed away: “Umm Salih (his wife) lived with me for twenty years and she and I did not argue at all.”
But today I marvel at something else… When my mother passed away, we were with her in the hospital, and my father stood next to her with the local Imam, family and friends. He stood there and said this magnificent statement that I will never forget in my life: “We’ve been married for 30-odd years and she’s never said a word that upset me. You people are the witnesses of Allah on earth. Be witness that I am pleased with her.” And everyone, including the Imam, just teared up.
Charity started at home, and her beautiful & respectful relationship with my father and all of us simply spilled on to the larger community and internationally. See, you can never really have an impact on the world if your own home is in shambles, because ripples work outwards, never inwards.
May the Lord of the Worlds accept you into His Mercy this night, shower His forgiveness upon you, and prepare your grave tonight as the best of earthly abodes; spacious and filled with light. I ask Him to open the window of Paradise to you, and fill you with peace and happiness. May the Angels greet you as they greet the Prophets, truthful ones, martyrs, and righteous, and may you be accepted as one of them.
“Gardens of everlasting residence; they will enter with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate saying, “Salamun ‘Alaikum (peace be upon you) for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” [al-Ra’d: 23-24]
May Allah be pleased with you, ameen.
May Allah reunite you in jannat Al-Firdaouss!
Allahumma ighfirha warhamha wa thabbitha bilqaul al thaabit aameen
May Allah unite you all in Jannah and increase you guys in patience. <3
TabarakaaAllaah your post was very moving and we praise and thank Allaah in all affairs. Your mother as from what I read seems to have been a woman of great understanding. I ask Allaah to raise her ranks and make her questioning easy for her. Ameen. If anyone was deserving to live than it would be the prophet of Allaah sallahu allayhi wa sallam however even He tasted the pains of death. So Alhamdulilaah we are certain about death as we will all meet Allaah. I ask Allaah jaal wa alaa to give you strengthen and reward you and your family for your patience. Ameen. Jazakallahu khayrn walao.
ohh 🙁 im sorry to know this ,TO him we belong to him we return. May She go to Jannah Ameen,
my friend mom Is ill she had a heart attack plus she already a cancer patient. plz pray for her she is hospitalized n her condition is serious
And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirun (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones. (Surah Al-baqarah 155-157)
Allaah (sw) promised that He will test us, but what makes some of us succeed others is how we deal with calamities in times of such difficulties. My dear sister for the sake of Allaah, my heart is with you and your family, and I pray to Allaah to make you and all those she left behind from the Saabirun. The ones whom He praised in the aforementioned ayahs.
I also pray that Allaah grants your mother the highest of al-firdaws, and He makes her be in the company of those on whom Allâh has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, the Siddiqûn, the martyrs, and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are!
Although I have not met your mother, I’ve heard amazing things about her; everything you’ve mentioned above and more, and my husband is one of those who bear-witness to this, being a close friend of the family.
This reminds me of the hadith mentioned in Bukhari:
Narrated / Authority of Anas
A funeral procession passed in front of the Prophet (SAW) and the people praised the deceased. The Prophet (SAW) said, “It has been affirmed (Paradise).” Then another funeral procession passed by and the people talked badly of the deceased. The Prophet (SAW) said, “It has been affirmed (Hell).” Allah’s Apostle (SAW) was asked, “O Allah’s Apostle (SAW)! You said it has been affirmed for both?” The Prophet (SAW) said, “The testimony of the people (is accepted), (for) the believers are Allah’s witnesses on the earth.”
I hope that paradise has been affirmed for her, as there are so many witnesses who only say good things about her. Amin.
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,
Inna lillaahi wa inn ilayhi raji’oon. Allaahumma ujurna fee museebatina wa akhlifna khayran minha. May Allaah Most High, Most Merciful and Most Generous accept all her deeds and have mercy on your mother’s soul and forgive her and grant her The highest levels of Jannah for her efforts in raising you and your family.
Losing a mother is a great trial indeed. May Allaah subhaanahu wa ta ala grant us patience at times like this and help us to remember Him, to turn to Him for support and guidance.
Death is something that is decreed for every single soul. It is a sign of The Creator who created Death and Life as a test.
May Allaah subhaanahu wa ta ala enable us to do the deeds that are pleasing to Him while we are still alive and may He re-unite you with your mother and family in Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen.
Jazaak Allaahu khayr for all your efforts with this blog. May Allaah subhaanahu wa ta ala accept them and increase you in goodness. Ameen.
Wa salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon
May Ar Rahman be pleased with her, and she with Him. May her grave be filled with noor. May her good deeds of yesterday be a source of joy for her today. And may her daughter be blessed with a character just like hers, and may her daughter have a similarly beautiful and joyous meeting with her Rabb when the time does come.
O Allah, do not take us until you are pleased with us.
Ameen, allahumma Ameen
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon. May Allah forgive her and give her a place in jannatul firdaws.
Inna lillahi w inna ilayhi raji’oon, ameen to the duas
walekum salaam wa rahmatuallah
inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajeeon
May Allah open window of paradise in her grave and bless her abundantly in afterlife.
amen.
Inna lillahi wa ina ileyhi raji3un
May Allah have mercy on her soul and grant her jannatul firdaws ul a3la amiin
May Allah preserve your family and may he accept all your dua’s amiin
I have always loved your posts….but this one particularly. From all accounts your mother gave her life to the Universe, as wished for most of us..however, she it appears, did more than her best. What a fitting tribute to motherhood especially in the week of mothering Sunday, here in the United Kingdom. She will always be with you and her love will know no bounds, hence, that is why there is a peace that surrounds you and your family. Each one of us that are mothers will try to do as well as your Mum. Thank you for highlighting her worth. With love, c xx
Inna Lillaahi wa Inna Ilayhi Raji’oon.
May the Angels greet her and May Allah reunite you with your beloved in Jannah.
Ameen ya Rabb
Allah give her firdaws ameen
Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilyahi Raji’un.
May Allah bless you and your family sabr and ease. May Allah bless her with mercy, forgiveness and paradise. Ameen
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un. May Allah accept good from her; make her grave a expansive and blessed, and be pleased with her.
assalamualaikum
inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon. Jazakillah khair for sharing. May Allah shower His mercy upon her and reunite you all in al Firdaus. Ameen! HUGS …
love you for His sake!
Juli
Allahumma amen! And may He, Most Kind, unite you there with her and may I be there also and have the felicity to look upon her illuminated face! Thank you for sharing this online, it is an inspiration and hope to know such people walked the earth. May you be like your mother and more and may we all be like her. I love you for the sake of Allah, and your mother too. Allah yarhamuki
Allahumma ighfirha warhamha wa thabbitha bilqaul al thaabit aameen
Inna lillahi wa inna lillahi rajoon,
May Allah swt bless your family with peace & ease during this difficult time.
Your description of your mother is so incredibly moving that I wish I had the chance to meet her myself. People like that do not come by often and it is truly amazing to here about them, subhan’Allah.
Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon. May Allah ‘azza wa jal forgive her sins, accept her good deeds and admit her into the highest ranks of Jannah. Ameeen.
Inaa lilahi wa inaa ilayhi ra’jioon
Never cried so much and I don’t even know her. i can only imagine how amazing she was, I wish I can give her a huge hug. I pray that Allah widens her grave for her for as far as the eyes can see, that she is never alone and is welcomed by the angels day and night, that her soul is wrapped in the riches of Jannah and that she becomes enveloped with the love, mercy, and friendship of Allah. That he makes her; ma3al anbiya, wa saliheen, wal mursaleen.
And for you, I ask that Allah shows you, your palace of Jannah in your dreams so that all upcoming hardships mean nothing to you. I don’t know you, but I love you and your mother for the sake of Allah. May Allah love you as she loved you, and may he love her as she loved you. Ameen.
as-salaamo 3alaykom,
innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raadji3oen,
Allaahomma 3adhimi al-Ajr, wa 3fu, wa zid min fadhlik.
Innaka 3affowwon, kareem.
Don’t forget to give much sadaqah, and pray a lot of du3aa for her, especialy in the time mubaasharatan after this moseebah, because in the beginning it is when you have the most hamaas and your feelings are at the higest level, and your ikhlaas is the purest and you do it much more in each day. After this period you can make it a 3aadah, when it is much less.
It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “To Allaah belongs that which He has taken and that which He gives, and with Him everything has an appointed end, so be patient and seek reward.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Janaa’iz, 1204)
كل مصيبة بعدك يا رسول الله جلل
فقد ذكر الواقدي في المغازي أن الصحابية السميراء بنت قيس أصيب ابناها في أحد، فلما نعيا لها قالت: ما فعل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، قالوا: خيراً هو بحمد الله على ما تحبين، قالت أرونيه أنظر إليه، فأشاروا لها إليه، فقالت: كل مصيبة بعدك يا رسول الله جلل.
والله أعلم.
Inaa lilahi wa inaa ilayhi ra’jioon
May Allah admit her into the highest level of Jannah.
Ameen
Inaa lilahi wa inaa ilayhi ra’jioon. May Allah (swt) shower her with his rahma and make the barzaq a place of comfort and rest.
Inna Lillah-e-Wa Inna Alaihi Rajioun!
May her soul rest in peace may Allah give you the strength to bear this loss, Insha Allah
Ameen, May Allah swt grant her jannatul firduos and give you all sabr
May Allah grant your beloved mother Al-Jannah and forgive her sins, may He always protect her and keep her under His Mercy, Love and Protection, and may He grant you and your family Sabr, courage and the strength to cope with the difficult situation. Ameen
May Allah make her grave from amongst the gardens of Jannah. I don’t know how I’d feel if my mother passed, but I lost my father a few years ago. May Allah have Mercy on all of those who have passed away. Ameen.
Assalaamu alaykum
Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajioon. Sorry for your loss and may Allah bestow patience upon you and your family. May Allah reunite your mother and the rest of the family in al-firdaws. At this age of fitan I hope that her passing away at a relatively young age is a good sign for her, in sha Allah.
Assalaam Alaikum,
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajiuun, may Allah SWT forgive her and grant her Jannat ul firdous, ameen.
« اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُ ، وارْحمْهُ ، وعافِهِ ، واعْفُ عنْهُ ، وَأَكرِمْ نزُلَهُ ، وَوسِّعْ مُدْخَلَهُ واغْسِلْهُ بِالماءِ والثَّلْجِ والْبرَدِ ، ونَقِّه منَ الخَـطَايَا، كما نَقَّيْتَ الثَّوب الأبْيَضَ منَ الدَّنَس ، وَأَبْدِلْهُ دارا خيراً مِنْ دَارِه ، وَأَهْلاً خَيّراً منْ أهْلِهِ، وزَوْجاً خَيْراً منْ زَوْجِهِ ، وأدْخِلْه الجنَّةَ ، وَأَعِذْه منْ عَذَابِ القَبْرِ ، وَمِنْ عَذَابِ النَّار »
Jazakum’Allahu khayran everyone, thank you for your words of support and du’as. I truly appreciate them all.
Saw this post just now.
May Allah grant your beloved mom the Firdause al ‘Alaa, the highest place in Jannah. Aameen.
I came across your post while using google. Although I do not share the same religion as you do, I want to say that my mother has passed away a few years ago due to cancer. I’m sorry about your loss and I want to tell you that though times will go by and that your mother shall always be in your heart, the closest to you. Stay strong.
Thank you Luke for dropping by and offering your condolences and words of comfort. I really appreciate it, and I’m sorry for your loss too.
Hi, it’s Luke again,
It’s been several years and I hope that you are well 🙂
Nice to hear from you, Luke. Thanks for stopping by again and hope you’re doing well too.
As’salamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu dear sis,
I’m not going to say that I’m sorry for your loss. Truly your mum suffered and helped all those she could in her family and community. I believe death was better for her before Her illness got worse. Truly Allah is The Most Merciful and The Most Wise. He Aza Wa Jal has appointed a time for everything and when the appointed time arrives, all the believer has to do is to submit and surrender to the decree of their Master. And Allah SWT is The One who loves us 79 times more than our own mums. This reminds of the following Hadith
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said:
Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.
It was related by al-Bukhari.
How beautiful are the words of our Master: “I hate hurting him” .. How sweet?!! I don’t think our moms would have have thought or said such words than Al Wadood.
May Allah Aza Wa Jal bless my mother like sister in Islam (ie: your mum) and forgive her her sins, give her company better than what she possessed in this dunya. Give her light in her grave. Accept all her good deeds with His immense Mercy and His immense forgiveness what she did in public and in private. And pardon all her mistakes and sins. May Allah Aza Wa Jal make you and your siblings a sadaqa-e-Jaariya for her. Allahumma Ameen! : )
May Allah forever bless you with all the goodness and never leave you and the rest of your family to your self, or to you shaitan or to his creation. May Alalh Aza Wa Jal take care of you Himself as there is no one who takes care like He does.
*70 times.. Not 79 times.